You Are Perfect. Why Change?
In the fast-paced world of executive leadership, change is often seen as the key to improvement. Leaders are expected to constantly evolve, adapting to new strategies, technologies, and trends to stay ahead. But what if I told you that true growth doesn’t come from change for the sake of it? What if it comes from choosing to change because you want to – not because of a self-imposed “should” or external pressure? This perspective may sound paradoxical, but by incorporating concepts from TEAM-CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), particularly Dr. David Burns’ paradoxical approach to resistance, leaders can find the most meaningful and sustainable change when they decide to shift – not because they “have to,” but because they genuinely want to.
The Paradox of Change in Leadership
In the traditional model of coaching and leadership development, change is often presented as a non-negotiable part of success. Leaders are told they must constantly adjust their behavior, refine their leadership style, or enhance their decision-making to stay competitive. The core belief is that change is essential to growth.
However, the paradoxical approach to resistance offers a radically different view. Rather than pushing against resistance, I suggest embracing it. Resistance isn’t necessarily something that needs to be overcome; it can be an important signal. Sometimes, the pressure to change comes from an external source – be it an organizational mandate, societal expectations, or even our own beliefs about what makes us “good enough” as leaders. What if, instead of trying to change because we “should,” we choose to change because we want to, and only when it aligns with our values and goals?
Understanding Resistance
Resistance is often misunderstood. In leadership, resistance to change can be seen as a negative, something to overcome. But what if resistance is not the problem, but the clue to where real, authentic change can occur? Resistance can often signal that a leader is deeply connected to their current way of being, or that they fear change for valid reasons – such as uncertainty, loss of control, or fear of failure.
I advise leaders to examine the resistance, rather than fighting against it. Why do you feel the urge to resist? What about change feels overwhelming or unnecessary? By questioning the origin of your resistance, you can determine whether change is truly in alignment with your desires or simply something you’ve been conditioned to believe you should do. When change is driven by an authentic desire rather than an external expectation, it’s much more likely to result in lasting, meaningful transformation.
The Power of Choosing Change
Success in leadership doesn’t mean being without flaws, nor does it mean constantly striving for improvement without a clear purpose. It means knowing when to embrace your strengths and when you genuinely want to evolve. True leadership growth happens when you take ownership of the decision to change. It comes from wanting to become a better version of yourself – not because someone told you that you “should.”
Instead of blindly chasing after an idealized version of leadership, recognize that change, when it comes, should come from a place of desire, not obligation. This kind of change is sustainable and meaningful because it’s tied to your internal motivations rather than external pressures.
Conclusion: Change Because You Want To
In the paradoxical approach to resistance, the key takeaway is this: change doesn’t need to be a response to external pressures or self-imposed “shoulds.” The most effective leaders embrace change when it aligns with their true desires. You don’t have to change just because the world tells you to – you change because you want to, because it enhances your leadership and brings you closer to the person you aspire to be. So, embrace your current self, honor your resistance, and choose change when it feels like the right move for your growth. You are already perfect as you are – now, change only when you genuinely want to.
Ready to Embrace Authentic Change?
If you’re a leader (or know a leader) who wants to explore how to navigate change in a way that aligns with your values and leadership style, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can create a tailored coaching experience that helps you embrace your current self, understand your resistance, and move forward with intentional, purposeful change when you’re ready.
